Is there anyone who happily chomps on burnt toast?
How many would deliberately muddy the water they are about to drink or take a dip in?
Must be only a handful, if that! Right?
The soft-textured, rich smelling piece of bread is replaced in minutes by an unpleasant smelling, bitter piece of rock. What a shock!
So, what kind of a person would do such a thing, over and over again, then complain about it?
What kind of a society filled with such people would fail to see its folly? The only way this could continue happening is when society glorifies the making of burnt toast and muddied water and thinks nothing of the consequences of doing it repeatedly?
Really? Why?
Apparently, for some peculiar reason, the burnt toast or the muddied water passes as acceptable. The palpable smell and bitterness are missed. The sullying mud particles do not bother. They may actually be welcomed as redeeming. Strange, indeed!
In modern world, many are distressed by the quality of their private lives. For some, it’s enough to drive them over the edge. To regain control, restore sanity, peace and amity, burning toast and muddying water must first stop.
Gender Relations is one of the core factors ensuring human happiness. Gender Presentation, Gender Role Recognition, Gender Equity, Gender Responsibility, Gender Vulnerability and Gender Etiquette possibly make up Gender Relations. Now, it is recognized that a chain is as strong as its weakest link. Likewise, a wholesome Gender Relation is only as strong as its weakest factor.
A person, on the other hand, is a collection of connected, interdependent beings: Varying in degrees, a person is spiritual, intellectual, informed, physical, sexual, doing, seeking, receiving, sharing, exacting, individualistic, creative, and so on.
Modernity, be it through technology, media, or opportunity, has sought to redefine Gender Relations. On the other hand, Biology and Morality have continued to define its backbone.
A man and a woman need each other for their own sakes as well as for the continuity of humanity. As it is, people come with weaknesses by birth or by acquisition that makes this unity challenging. If fresh new weaknesses are added without recognizing them to be so and without due mitigation, then the success of the unity becomes even more suspect.
Modern Gender Relations has led to fewer marriages, greater number of divorces, fewer births, more children out of wedlock, more serial relationships, more abortions, more suicides even, etc. A vast number of people recognize this to be unhealthy, but very few appear to know what to do about it.
In a world that puts a lot of stock on problem solving, this appears to be quite a doozy.
tptChoice Team
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I am an educator in Business & Economics. I hold master's and doctorate degrees. Three decades earlier, as a graduate student, while going through a course related to Industrial Psychology, I stumbled upon Factor Analysis. It uses a mathematical technique to quantify emotions such as anger, happiness, etc. Thus, say, for identification as well as measurement of intensity of anger, one may identify telltale factors such as loudness of voice and quickness of speech, reddening of face, unusual use of swear words, flailing of arms, etc. They are all quantifiable and may act as proxy variables regarding this particular emotion.
So, I thought about my own community back in the old country, and even here today in the West, that has been able to vastly stave off addictive behavior, depression, suicidal tendencies, etc., yet is unable to follow other don'ts (back in the old country again) such as, not to drive erratically or honk randomly, litter the street wantonly, or rush rather than queue up when seeking a service, etc. So, I was curious why and how is it that my people follow the prohibitions against drinking, gambling, and pre and extra marital relationship, for example, yet fail to follow these other prohibitions?
That raised many questions. Mainly, what are the underlying, hidden or overt, spiritual, psychological and social factors or structures that allow this type of sustained, pervasive success over time and space? What receives their voluntary acceptance and cooperation, and guides them so as to be self-corralled?
In resolving this puzzle, I realized that maybe I could share this with people of other communities who are being debilitated by addiction of one type or another. As a new citizen, based on my values, I felt I needed to give back something lasting to the host community. Perhaps then my community and I could become true sons and daughters of the soil?
Yet my vision was not to seek religious conversion of others, but elucidation of what works, how and why for one faith community. While all of it is emanating from a spiritual domain of a particular variety, it is a part of human heritage. I wanted to be like a doctor who does not care about his patient's faith persuasion. He wants to know about the case history, diagnose the problem and prescribe the best way to recovery.
Needlessly to say, I have been questioned by some people of my faith whether individuals who follow my methodology will be successful. After all, they are not only not formally presented the actual faith's identity, much less expected to accept it. Presumably, those who accept the faith have a significantly higher qualitative appreciation. Absent self-selection, all I possibly have is a hollow exercise!
Well, all I can do now is to see how the experiment pans out in the long run.
Now, fortunately, given the tall order that I have set out for myself and with the very meager resource at my disposal, the advent of the Internet has been Godsend. I was stuck not knowing how to go about until I remembered about China's Ma and his Alibaba - the other Amazon.com. Thus, inspired by yet another eureka moment, I thought, surely I could also try. The service could very well be online, making the service seekers but a click away.
So, here I am, and here's Totally Personal Total Choice!
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