Adult Chauvinism

“I’m an adult, leave me alone” is a sentiment heard once in a while.

“I dislike organized religion because I don’t have the freedom due to me as an adult” is also an oft-expressed refrain among those distant from religion or religiosity.

Occasionally adults are asked to show-up or shape-up. In other words, they are expected to be simply accountable by being punctual, tidy and organized, hygienic, keeper of word, softer in language use, kinder in demeanor, etc. The confronted adult responds by saying something like, “Stop mothering me”! Wow! That is not adult-speak, but adolescent-speak. The tell-tale sign of immaturity has inadvertently slipped past in the heat of expectation. Thus, the physical adult emotionally and psychologically inebriated by extended adolescence is easily riled up when reminded of his long HoneyDoList. This could be the side effect of a mix of affluence, at-ease parenting, confused family and societal norms, etc. When the adolescent is given the “Get out of Jail” card once too many times, this is what happens.

Are adults infallible and religions essentially faulty for their overreach? If neither is true, then we have a clear case of “Adult Chauvinism”.

Adults can make no mistake is patently a false statement, not that anyone is claiming it. However, the way some adults assert themselves and carry on, one could infer that that must be their presupposition.

Hence, the idea that adults should not be restricted, hemmed in, by anything institutional is also false.

Yes, adults are adults in that they are capable of and responsible for their decisions with the expectations that nobody is needed to watch their back or guide them along their way.

Adults have the right to be trusted and let go.

Yet the facts are that adults commit most of the crimes, are involved in most car accidents, perpetuate betrayals, habitually indulge in prevarication or lying, foul mouthing and gossip, and are responsible for all of the divorces, abandonment of family and botched parenting. Assessing and reporting thus do not make for a novel, sensational, tell-all copy.

Adults need all kinds of ID’s and permits for driving, traveling, banking, trading and manufacturing. They are required to pay taxes, obtain visa, observe speed limit, pay for traffic violation, go through background check and sometimes DNA and blood sampling, obtain marriage certificate, produce birth certificate, divulge social security number, etc.

So, adults are subject to the rules of a system. Their claim to “haloed” emancipation is not absolute.

Yet the system is not Orwellian. It cannot possibly prescribe every guideline or monitor every choice. Hence, adults get substantial latitude, especially for the space and time which is their very own. The formal societal system to be of any value to anyone protects adults from other adults in terms of economic loss and loss of life or injury to the body. That is the most it can do.

The family, as the primary, un-legislated system, is typically in gear from the very get go to supply the society with a responsible, productive adult. The family’s system  is an acquired system that is rooted in collective human experience and religion (the latter being a system unto itself that would argue the family as its sub-system). When this supplemental system is weak, we get adults who may be great in public space but are woefully inadequate in private space. In aggravated cases, both spaces are squarely compromised. Some adults land in intractable trouble, their whole life is poised easily, rapidly to descend into a veritable pandemonium.

The tptChoice Way argues that people facing uphill tasks of instituting self-discipline, managing willfulness akin to foolhardiness, and dependencies of various forms should be careful not to take the position of an unapologetic adult chauvinist. It’s a useless, unsupportable, hollow position that robs one of the ability to appreciate difference, listening capacity and analytical sensibility thereby blocking effort at restoration of sanity and dynamic recovery.

The very selfishness, minus the shallowness, that chases adult chauvinism should be turned around and employed to gain a prettier, more wholesome life.

TPTChoice Team

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